Friday, January 13, 2006

Wave goodbye...

So, this week all the news is about the possibility of a Liberal collapse and a Tory majority. Just in case this happens, I want to take this opportunity to say goodbye to a few things I used to like, or would have liked to see happen in the future.

Goodbye Kyoto. You weren't perfect, but I'll never get over that "it won't save the planet by itself, so let's not do anything at all" argument that has tormented you all these years.

Goodbye National Daycare program. I thought you were a good idea since Brian Mulroney promised to implement you over a decade ago, and don't feel too bad, most of the country wants you too. But the Tories want everyone to stay at home with their kids, and since they're not interested in creating childcare spaces with any "standards" or "regulations" for the quality of the programs, and few people will have any new choices with their $5 a day (before taxes), they'll probably get their wish by default. But at least the government won't raise our kids, and they'll be sent to expensive, regulation-free, privately-run centres set up by private companies, the way God intended.

Goodbye new deal with aboriginals. I know it took over a year, and a lot of hard work to come up with a new plan that all the provinces, the federal government and first nations groups would all agree on. But it took just as long to come up with a childcare deal with all the provinces agreement, and all the funding in place, and the Tories are gonna scrap all of that too. So, sadly, your deal doesn't stand a chance, and Harper has as much as said so.

Goodbye ban on handguns. You weren't going to make life safer, but I did like the optics of our nation banning people from owning weapons specifically designed to kill people. You sent the right message, and will be missed.

Goodbye income tax cut. I bought a new T.V. with you this year. You will be sorely missed. (And my T.V. will not get a new sound system).

Goodbye rational drug policy. I guess we're all the way back to "lock the criminals up... forget about 'treatment'" we'll see how well our new war on drugs goes. Based on the American experience, I'm certainly confident.

Goodbye "we do not engage in hostilities that are not sanctioned by the United Nations". I always thought it was a good idea to stop countries from attacking one another for reasons other than self-defence, so I'll miss the charm of "international law", and "sense of proportion".

Goodbye undisputed marriage equality. If we're lucky, the equality will stay, but undisputed is about to go back to "disputed". I hope everyone enjoyed the debate the first time around, 'cause here it comes again!

Goodbye money for cities. Guess I'll have to buy a car.

But, of course, with every goodbye, there is a hello, so hello to all these wonderful new policies!

Hello GST cut! You are pretty meaningless to my everyday life, and I'd be better off with an equivalent income tax deduction. But on the bright side, you are a stupid economic policy that won't help productivity, or help accomplish anything beyond getting people who don't know any better (and don't know any economists) to vote Tory. (Oh... that actually a "bright" side???) But hey, I guess I'll save a quarter the next time I buy a CD!

Hello Crawford! I'm going to see you on T.V. a lot more now. And you're a charming Texas town, so I'm quite pleased with that!

Hello private Health Care! People don't like you I'm afraid, but the Liberals never uninvited you from the party, so you were always going to arrive eventually. The only difference now is that the Tories will give you a lift, and buy you the first round.

Hello abortion debate. No one's seen you since before I was born, and everyone I know was pretty happy with that. It'll be interesting to meet you once Tory supporters start demanding the party address you!

Hello property rights! How we ever developed a constitution without specific protection for property owners is beyond me. I mean, what were the fathers of Confederation trying to say? That it doesn't matter whether or not you own property? That "rights" belong to humans, regardless of economic status, and that there is no need to constitutionally protect your "ownership" rights? We just went straight from having special treatment for the upper classes, and protection of their things, to equality, and a complete lack of special treatment or acknowledgement of the rights of "owners"! 'Bout time we reversed course on that.

Hello Foreign Minister Stockwell Day! You were always one of my favourite punchlines, and I'm guessing that will continue once it is both punchline AND reality....

I'm sure I'm missing a million hellos and goodbyes that we'll all need to say if the Tories get a majority (some of them huge no doubt... I didn't rack my brain over this post or anything) . Feel free to add them in the comments!

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Anonymous said...

Good-bye ban on notwithstanding clause. :(

I hope Mr Martin wins - whoo hoo!

My organization is very happy that Mr. Martin will ban the notwithstanding clause. It is about time we can gain the freedoms we deserve, protected by the Charter and the courts!

Canada is already one of the most free countries for us - whoo-hoo! Oh, Canada!

Bring on the boys!

Vote Liberal!
Emmanuelle S.

Lord Kitchener's Own said...

Wow, that's the most idiotic, inane, silly, pointless and kinda scary anonymous comment I've ever received. If you truly believe the notwithstanding clause is the only thing keeping pedophelia illegal in Canada, then I just don't know what to say to you.

Congratulations on being the worst comment in the history of my blog though!

Steve V said...

Goodbye cohesive federalism, hello national government as merely a tax collector.

Jim said...

Wow, that's the most idiotic, inane, silly, pointless and kinda scary anonymous comment I've ever received. If you truly believe the notwithstanding clause is the only thing keeping pedophelia illegal in Canada, then I just don't know what to say to you.

I got trolled with that too.

A BCer in Toronto said...

I got trolled with that too.

So did I, he's posting it everywhere. First comment I've deleted.

ferrethouse said...

Re: Liberal childcare plan...

"most of the country wants you too"

LOL. The Strategic Councel released a poll that showed Canadians preferred the Conservative plan by a 2:1 margin. I'll find the poll if you don't believe me.

Regarding Kyoto...

I didn't read the rest of your post but I suspect I could have continued this with the rest of your arguments. Nuff said.

Lord Kitchener's Own said...

Well, that poll on childcare options means Canadians preferred Harper's plan because the Tories made it sound like it was ON TOP of the Liberals plan. The Tories ran around saying that they would honour the Liberal's promises to the provinces, but just didn't shout the fact that they only meant for year one. So, in year one, it might be nice to have and extra $1200 ON TOP of a newly built federally funded, province-run, quality-controlled national daycare plan. So people answering polls loved that.

But where does the money come from for years 2, 3, 4.... Oh, that's right, there will be none. I'm sure the Premiers will be thrilled having spent all that federal money setting up childcare programs to meet federal standards only to find that they'll need to find the money to keep them going themselves.

It should be fun to watch their reactions if Harper gets his way!

As for the CTV web poll, I don't feel the need to comment on an internet web poll. I could probably find a web poll that says the majority of Canadians would prefer a dog as Prime Minister rather than Stephen Harper... but that would be meaningless too.