Thursday, September 13, 2007

A fictional retelling of today's Committee meeting on the "veil thing"...

Lukiwski held up his left hand, its back towards Mayrand, with the thumb hidden and the four fingers extended.

'How many fingers am I holding up, Marc?'

'Four.'

'And if the Committee says that it is not four but five -- then how many?'

'Four.'

The word ended in a gasp of pain. The needle of the dial had shot up to fifty-five. The sweat had sprung out all over Mayrand's body....

'How many fingers, Marc?'

'Four.'

The needle went up to sixty.

'How many fingers, Marc?'

'Four! Four! What else can I say? Four!'

...

'You are a slow learner, Marc,' said Lukiwski gently.

'How can I help it?' he blubbered. 'How can I help seeing what is in front of my eyes? Two and two are four.'

'Sometimes, Marc. Sometimes they are five. Sometimes they are three. Sometimes they are all of them at once. You must try harder. It is not easy to become sane.'

Thank God Parliamentary Committees can't use PHYSICAL torture, eh? They just drive us mad with their stupidity.


H/T to Dr. Dawg for reminding me of this scene from 1984.

Apologies to George Orwell for messing with it.

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6 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL! Funniest recap I've heard today of the so-called 'committee meeting'.

Chocolate milk all over my keyboard. sigh.

Zorpheous said...

You're an evil bastard Lord K. I love it.

Lord Kitchener's Own said...

I have to say, all credit to Dr. Dawg.

He wrote out the whole (real) quote in a comment to one of my posts on this, and I just copied it right from him, and changed the names to match the Committee meeting.

It is great though, isn't it!

Joseph said...

Excellent Post!

And thank you for covering this whole topic with wisdom and clarity.

It has been nearly surrreal watching this unfold. And if I see one more on-line comment or hear one more, "but I think people should have to show their face" when they vote comment by the only mildly listening public, I'm gonna scream, "That's not the freakin' point!"

Oh, such a sad state when a government seeks to distort and pervert every bit of normal discourse into political advantage.

Sometimes the campaign has to actually end so that governance can occur.

Anonymous said...

All you have to know is..

http://thetyee.ca/Mediacheck/2005/11/29/HarperBush/

Harper, Bush Share Roots in Controversial Philosophy
Linked by Leo Strauss
Close advisers schooled in 'the noble lie' and 'regime change.'

Strauss is the root of all evil. Damn that ideology.

Lord Kitchener's Own said...

I should say, on this issue I blame pretty much ALL our MPs, not just Harper. Sure, generally, the Conservatives got the most excited about this (surprise) but the Liberals, BQ, and NDP (and the leaders of all 4 parties) didn't acquit themseleves at all well here either.

That vote in the Committee (basically instructing Mayrand to ignore the law) passed UNANIMOUSLY.

Harper's done plenty wrong, and he's wrong here, but in this particular case, so was everyone else. So while I don't give Harper a pass on this, I'm also not going to blame HIM for this. This was PARLIAMENTARY INCOMPETENCE and while this is by no means comforting, apparently, they're ALL incompetent (or illterate, or deaf, or some combination of the three).